The BudgieSmuggling Marvalo of Aus
by Skinnyscottishboylover
Summary: What happened if L. Frank Baum wrote another version of the Wizard of Oz.


**Hey guys this is my first story so please be nice.**

**This was an English assignment so I decided to add it to fanfiction so enjoy ;) Read and Review**

There once was a teenage girl named Dorothy Gale, who lived with her Uncle Henry and Aunt Em in Kansas, America. They were both very kind, caring and hard working people. One day at school, Dorothy had heard that the yearly senior dress-up party was tonight. After a long, hard day of studying, school was finally over at 3:00pm. At 3:16pm Dorothy and her friends Hickory, Zeke and her boyfriend, Toto caught the bus to the local shopping mall to get some after-school snacks from McDonalds. The next time she looked at her watch it was 5:00pm.

'Sorry guys but I have to get home and help my Aunt and Uncle!' Dorothy said picking up her school bag and running home to ask them if she could to go the party tonight.

When Dorothy saw Uncle Henry, fixing their white picket fence and Aunty Em collecting the eggs from the chicken coop she knew she would be in trouble for being home late. Even though her lungs were burning and she could hardly breathe from running so far, she quickly picked up her pace to run inside and start her homework and chores so she could go to the party.

'Hey Aunt Em and Uncle Henry I was wondering if I could go to the senior fancy dress party tonight?' She asked breathless crossing her fingers behind her back hoping they would say yes.

'No you have exams to study for, homework to hand in and chores to do. You can go partying once you move out but right now while _you_ live under _my_ roof, _you'll_ follow my rules, got it?' Aunt Em said arching her eyebrow waiting for an answer.

'I got it! But Imight be the only senior not going tonight and it all your FAULT!' Dorothy yelled at her Aunt and Uncle while running up the stairs into her room.

'Stupid Aunt not letting me go tonight, well I'll show her. I bet she had her fair share of parties in her time. I'm going to go tonight and they can't stop me,' she mumbled to herself deciding what to wear tonight. Dorothy had decided on dressing-up as Dorothy from _The Wonderful Wizard of Oz_, which was coincidentally her favourite book and movie of all time. Dorothy was dressed in a white button-down blouse with white puffy elasticized sleeves, a white and blue checkered dress to go over the shirt with blue socks, scarlet red ballet flats and a dark brown woven basket to carry.

When her iPhone's clock said it was 11:00pm she quickly sneaked out of her second storey bedroom window and jumped. Luckily she landed on the hedge just below her window, she got up and made her way to the party. After walking for about ten minutes she reached the party to find loud music blaring through the open windows and broken beer bottles scattered around the house, when she walked up the driveway and into the house she saw all her friends dressed-up as the 'T-birds' from_ Grease_.

'I'm just gonna get a drink from the bar,' Dorothy yelled at Toto, but her voice was barely audible over the bass of the speakers. After making her way over to the bar she went up to the bartender.

'Hi can I have a Tornado, and make it non-alcoholic I have to go to school tomorrow, thanks.' Dorothy was handed her drink from the bartender; it was a vibrant bubble-gum pink colour with a blue cocktail umbrella and slices of Pineapple and watermelon on the straw.

'Boy that does look yummy,' she said licking her lips.

'I hope you're talking about me,' Toto said behind her faking mock offence. Dorothy found a small wooden table next to her so she put her drink down and turned to give Toto a quick hug and a kiss. Then she turned back around and picked up her drink. And she took and experimental sip to make sure it tasted adequate.

'I don't feel so good,' she said a minute later holding her head feeling as though she was going to throw up, the last thing she remembered was falling into Toto's arms and seeing Hickory, Hunk and Zeke's faces swirl into blackness….

When Dorothy woke up she saw swirls of colour and tiny dwarf-like people surrounding her in a wide circle.

'What am I now in Oompa Loompa land?' she asked sarcasm dripping off her every word.

'No you are not in _Oompa Loompa _land,' the tallest Oompa Loompa told her, 'You're in vertically challenged people land. From the year 1990 onwards it had been against the law to call us Oompa Loompas or Munchkins. My name is Avery James Kallem Jude Charlie Jayden Cooper-Miller but everyone calls me Carl, I am the Mayor of vertically challenged people land and I humbly welcome you to our town.'

'Thanks Carl but do you know how to get home? I want to get out of here! No offence,' Dorothy pleaded hoping they would tell her to visit the Wizard of Oz in the Emerald City.

'There is but you have to follow the poorly maintained road to the Graffiti city to see the Budgie-Smuggling Marvalo of Aus. All hail Tony Abbott,' Carl said mesmerized just by the thought of the Marvalo, 'Oh and beware of his foe Julia Gillard, she is the Wicked Ranga of the West.'

'Okay thanks for the tips,' just as she said that a pair of tan diamond Ugg boots appeared on her feet and sparkled in the sun.

'What no Ruby Slippers or at least something decent to wear on my feet; gosh this place is rigged!'

'Those boots will protect from almost everything Julia Gillard throws at you, but she will want those boots so she can sell them on eBay,' Carl told her, 'and only you can take them off so beware.'

'Gosh these boot are comfortable I might even get a pair if I ever get out of this strange place.' Dorothy thought out loud but quickly shut her mouth in case anyone heard her, 'Oh this is absolutely fantastic I can go this way, this way or this way, I guess I pick this way then; gosh that was hard!'

'Excuse me Miss but could you help me please I've been ties to this pole for days and my feet hurt, could you please un-tie me?' a voice asked her.

'Umm sure.' Dorothy said unsure to help this strange man, but as she got closer she saw the man was one of her best friends Zeke, "Oh it's just you Zeke could you please tell me what in the name of God is going on because I have absolutely no idea anymore!'

'Umm who is this Zeke you're talking about? I'm just your normal scatterbrain, I don't even know how I got tied up. One day I was running away from Julia Gillard and her supporters The Greens and the next I wake up tied to this log,' the scatterbrain said barley above a whisper.

'Well I have time to get you down but I am in a terrible rush. You see I'm going to see the budgie-smuggling Marvalo of Aus to see if I can get home from here,' Dorothy said wondering if he was another of Julia Gillard's followers.

'Oh please could I come along with you so I can get a brain? I won't cause too much trouble because I can't think! Please will you take me with you?' the scatterbrain said, silently wishing she would agree.

'Well okay, but I have a wicked ranga on my tail so we must hurry,' she said un-tying the scatterbrain from the pole, 'And because you look so much like my friend your new name will be Zeke.'

'Okay I like that name plus I don't worry about some wicked ranga I'm not afraid of anything,' Zeke said puffing out his chest and pulling Dorothy close so his mouth was in line with her ear, 'Except learning.'

'Okay lets get going I have a feeling we should go down this way,' she said pointing to the middle lane of the Poorly Maintained Road and skipping down the road arm in arm with Zeke the Scatterbrain, 'We're off!'

When Dorothy and her new found friend Zeke reached a field full of trees with plump, bright red, ripe apples growing on all the branches.

'I'm so hungry I might just take one or two to see us through the journey,' Dorothy said wincing; waiting for all the apples to come hurling towards them, but they didn't.

'I definitely didn't see that one coming. I was expecting huge black and blue patterns being tattooed onto my skin from the apples.'

'HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY APPLES GIRL!' a cold, nasty voice said appearing from inside the house, 'THOSE ARE MY APPLES AND I WILL NOT HAVE SOME FUNNY-LOOKING GIRL AND HER HITCH-HIKER FRIEND FEEDING OFF MY HARD WORK!' A man about six feet tall walked over to the duo and stared down at them.

'Gosh if looks could kill we would be dead eleven times by now,' Dorothy whispered to Zeke in a low whisper, 'he sounds so heartless, what is he made of tin or something?'

'What's that girl?' the man asked her.

'I said you sound so heartless and you could be made of tin,' she stated plucking up courage, 'and I just realized you look so much like my friend Hickory, in fact I might just call you Hickory.'

'OK lets start over,' Hickory said holding out his hand, 'I was never given a birth name as my parents died when I was only days old. But because I quite like the name Hickory I have accepted your offer to be name that.'

'Thank you Hickory, but we must get going. You see, we have to get to the Budgie-Smuggling Marvalo of Aus, as I have to get home back to Kansas,' she said to Hickory, 'but if you want to tag along with us I'm sure the Budgie-Smuggling Marvalo of Aus will be more than happy to stop you being so heart-less.'

'Ok lets go,' Hickory, said offering his arm to Dorothy.

Where do you think you're going?' a nasally voice asked them from on the the front garden of Hickory's house, 'off to negotiate with the Budgie-Smuggler?'

'Oh no! It's the Wicked Ranga of the West, Julia Gillard, what do you want?" Dorothy shouted at Julia Gillard.

'Me? What do I want? You silly little girl!' Julia shrieked at Dorothy pointing to herself. 'I want those UGG BOOTS! You don't know how a pair of them cost! Hand them over you silly, insolent little girl!'

'NO! I WILL NOT GIVE THEM TO YOU!' Dorothy screamed at the wicked Ranga.

'OK Scatterbrain want to have a little test? You could really do with some learning; it will be such an achievement," Julia teased Zeke throwing the N.A.P.L.A.N test papers at him.

'NOOOOOOOO! Anything but learning! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!' Zeke screamed like a little girl cowering in fear behind Hickory and Dorothy. Dorothy quickly picked up the tests and tore them in half, and then in half again until they were so small you couldn't tear them up anymore then threw them at Julia Gillard hitting her square in the face.

'Fine you win, for now, but wait until I come back! Next time I'll get you and your whatever you call them- friends!" Julia screamed at Dorothy and walked into her black limousine.

Zeke, Hickory and Dorothy reached an overgrown bush as the sky was just starting to turn dusty pink and orange caused by the setting of the sun.

'I think it's going to get much darker before it gets light,' Hickory said to Zeke and Dorothy pointing at the sky.

'Oh no what are we going to do? At this pace I'll never get home,' Dorothy said falling to the ground, sobs escaping her mouth and tears falling down her cheeks causing her mascara to run down her cheeks in black streaks.

'Well come on,' Hickory said to her helping her up and giving her a comforting embrace, 'the faster we get outta here, the faster you can go home.'

'OK, sorry about this you guys,' she said wiping any evidence remaining that she had been crying, 'even though I just met you guys today I feel like I've known you my whole life, lets go.' Just as they were about to take another step they heard a low growl and a few colorful unkind words coming from behind the biggest gum tree in the Bush.

"'Did you guys just hear that? It sounded like someone's hurt, we should have a look," Dorothy said trying not to sound panicked to keep the others calm. When Dorothy went to investigate a figure jumped in front of her.

'Who are you?' She asked alarm rising in her voice.

"I think I should be askin' you that as well mate," the figure said in a deep Australian accent.

'Are you ok? I heard you and I thought you might be hurt,' Dorothy asked the mysterious man.

'I'm fine, don't worry your pretty little head about me love, lets go out into the light so I can introduce myself properly,' the man said leading her into the middle of the path where the light was the brightest.

'My name Otot, but everyone just calls me lion,' Otot said pointing to his blue, gold and maroon Brisbane lion's jersey.

'You look just like my boyfriend Toto,' Dorothy said to him closely examining Otot's face.

'Cool,' Hickory said holding two thumbs up.

'I see you brought some friends along with you. All right you,' Otot said pointing to Zeke, 'what's your name? And what's your team?'

'My name is Scatterbrain but Dorothy calls me Zeke, and what is a team?' Zeke asked Otot.

'Ok Zeke I'll explain this slowly to you. A team is a group of footballers you support and cheer for. You got that? Or do I need to explain it to you again?' Otot sneered at Zeke in a tone that made him sound simpler than he already was.

'You,' he said pointing to Hickory, 'what's your name and what team do you support? You know what? I don't think I even want to hear what team you two support!' Otot barked, 'because I think you guys just think you're better than my Lions. I bet my team could beat your teams with their eyes closed and both hands tied behind their backs.'

'You guys ok?' she asked them and they both just nodded and went to walk out of the bush, offended by Otot's earlier words.

'Wait I'm sorry, I haven't had a good nights sleep since the football grand finals started, please will you forgive me?' Otot pleaded to them.

'Apology accepted, come on guys we have to get going or we'll be late for the Budgie-Smuggling Marvalo of Aus,' she said facing the other two.

'You're going to go see the Budgie-Smuggling Marvalo of Aus, could I come too to get some real courage," Otot asked crossing his fingers behind his back.

'Fine, you can come on two conditions,' Dorothy said holding up two fingers, 'One, you must be pleasant at all times and two, you must not insult me or my friends about our choices with football or anything else for that matter, got it?'

'Got it,' Otot said nodding his head. As soon as Dorothy and her new friends walked out into the sun, all they saw was an empty field. They ran over to it as fast as their legs would take them and rolled around on the spongy, green grass. Dorothy quickly felt exhaustion wash over her like the waves wash over the sandy shore of an Aussie beach.

Later that day when Dorothy woke up she could feel someone's steady heartbeat humming next to her ear, she peaked up through her eyelashes to see none other than Otot carrying her along the Poorly Maintained Road to the Graffiti city.

'Hey Dorothy you awake?' He asked her shaking her lightly on the shoulder.

'No she's not but I can take a message for her if you like,' Dorothy said back to him in a voice thick with sleep.

"Well then tell Dorothy that we are a matter of metres away from the Graffiti city," he stated proudly.

'What! We are?' Dorothy said sitting bolt upright and falling from Otot's arm into the cold, dirty, stone floor of the Poorly Maintained Road.

'Ow but don't mind me I'll get up by myself,' she said picking herself up off the road and dusting herself off. 'Well they certainly didn't lie about it being Graffiti City did they?'

Graffiti city was falling apart; almost all the roofs of every house were falling off bit-by-bit. All the windows were smashed and every building in a ten-mile radius was covered from roof to path in ugly graffiti. There was only one building in the entire city that was completely clean. It was literally sparkling in the sunlight. The building was beautiful, it was at least ten stories tall with a gleaming genuine silver and gold clock on the very top of the building.

'I'm guessing that's where the Budgie-Smuggling Marvalo of Aus lives and works," Dorothy said pointing to the building, 'and that's probably where all the money goes, don't you think?

'Where?"' Zeke asked completely confused by the question.

'The clock,' they all said in unison, slapping their foreheads.

'Oh,' Zeke said forming an O shape with his mouth, 'I agree with you, I mean the clocks beautiful and every thing but don't you think they would fix up this dump first?'

'You'd think so wouldn't you?' Answered Dorothy sarcastically.

'Yep,' replied Zeke sympathetically.

'It was a rhetorical question Zeke,' said Dorothy.

'Welcome young and old and ladies and gentleman to the Graffiti City, I Tony Abbott, am the wonderful; Budgie-Smuggling Marvalo of Aus!' A tall, large-eared man said coming out of the building in just a pair of red Speedos and raising his arms in the air, 'come in my children into the building.'

'Ok that was just a little odd,' Dorothy whispered to Hickory who just nodded in response and rolled his eyes.

The walls of the building were encrusted in gold, silver and bronze with handcrafted T.A initials engraved into the walls. They rounded a corner at the end of the hallway they made their way to another endless hallway.

'Oh god these hallways go on forever!' Dorothy exclaimed, 'You could fit a boat-load full of boat people in just one of these hall ways, when a short British man came up to them.

'Mr. Marvalo will see you in a second, but first of all we have to get you four cleaned up. You look like you've been dragged through a cactus filled desert, backwards,' one of Mr. Marvalo's assistants said in a posh, British accent. He than led them through a gold and silver door to a beauty parlor.

"This is breath-taking, ah Mr.?" Dorothy exclaimed while looking around the parlor to see shelves upon shelves of hair products. Walls were lined with mirrors and hair straightners, hair curlers and blow dryers.

'Granderbelt, Daryl Granderbelt's the name,' the assistant snapped.

'Well Mr. Granderbelt it's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Dorothy, this is Hickory, Zeke and Otot. We are all here to visit the Budgie-Smuggling Marvalo of Aus,' Dorothy said pointing to herself then her friends one by one.

'Yes I know about why you are here, like I said I will take you to get the great and powerful Budgie-Smuggling Marvalo of Aus when you are all presentable,' Mr. Granderbelt said to them while shaking his head and tutting loudly.

'Everybody get out of your hiding places and tend to these unfortunately and badly groomed people who look like they have a stray cats sleeping on their heads,' Mr. Granderbelt barked. Out of thin air appeared four people dressed in baggy jumpers and jeans four times too big for them, bandanas and tacky, gold dollar sign necklaces hanging around their necks just resting on their stomachs.

'Hey hey what up girl! It's big Daddy in da house! Now what do you want done today Big G?' He said snapping his fingers at Mr. Granderbelt.

"Thank you Mr. Big Daddy. Today we want the best done for our guests; the full treatment. But do not mess up as I will be there.' Mr. Granderbelt said in an ice-cold whisper. Big Daddy just gulped and nodded in fear. Once Mr. Granderbelt was out of the room Big Daddy and the rest of his helpers pushed Dorothy, Zeke, Hickory and Otot into four huge, plush chairs and wheeled them to the mirrors to start with their transformation.

As soon as the other three were out of sight, Big Daddy's only female assistant changed Dorothy into a clean replacement of her old dress and her diamond Ugg boots were cleaned and polished until they looked as good as new. Then Dorothy was moved into hair and makeup. Her long mahogany waves were intricately twisted into a French-braided bun on the nape of her neck. Her makeup was done in natural browns and pinks with a hint of mascara to lengthen her eyelashes.

'Is that me?' She asked the assistant Cheryl.

'Yes miss it is you, look absolutely beautiful,' Cheryl replied with a genuine smile on her face.

'All right lets go to meet the Marvalo,' Dorothy said pulling Cheryl to the door with her. When Dorothy walked into the main hall she saw Zeke in new clean gray jeans and a black dress shirt. His hair was washed and neatly brushed. Hickory had a new pair of denim jeans and a grey dress shirt and Otot had a pair of black skinny jeans with a white dress shirt.

'Wow you guys look amazing, good enough to see the Marvalo himself,' Dorothy said to them making them blush. They just looked back at her gob-smacked causing her to look away blushing.

'I'm very sad to inform you that Mr. Marvalo won't be able to see you today. Come back another day perhaps if we're not too busy. Until then too-doo-loo,' Mr. Granderbelt said while wiggling his fingers in a mock wave.

'Oh no how am I going to get home now? I walked here all the way from vertically challenged people land to the Graffiti city. I get my hopes up to just have them crushed in a few words by a silly, posh man who thinks he's better than all of us. This is rubbish!" Dorothy screamed at Mr. Granderbelt bursting into tears. She ran out of the town hall into the outskirts of town. Dorothy ran and ran until she found a deserted back alley where she hid behind a wheelie bin and leaned against the jagged brick-wall sinking down until she felt the cold concrete touch the back of her thighs.

'Oh no what am I going to do?' She sobbed into her hands and cried until she fell into a dreamless sleep. When Dorothy woke up it was pitch black, apart from two bright headlights beaming right in front of her.

'Oh look what we have here Miss Dorothy Gale wearing _my_ diamond Ugg boots; get her my Greens,' a familiar nasally voice shrieked. When Dorothy finally stood-up on her shaky legs it was too late. Someone had already grabbed her and was pushing her towards the car. Her screams were muffled by a person's hand covering her mouth, she didn't know who was kidnapping her until she saw a quick flash of red hair out of the corner of her eye. Then she was forced into the black limousine, she was kicking, punching, biting and screaming at everyone and accidently hit her head on the inside of the door and was knocked out cold. Little did she know that a certain someone had been watching her from the shadows.

'Don't worry Dorothy we'll get you back home what ever it takes!' Otot whispered hoping she would hear him but he knew she wouldn't and quickly ran back to the Graffiti city to inform Zeke and Hickory what he had just witnessed.

Once the sun was shining down on her face Dorothy woke up to an unbearable headache from hitting her head on the metal car-door.

'Well I see you're awake, now give me the diamond Ugg boots or I will waffle on furiously about the economy until you beg me to stop you!' Julia Gillard shouted at her fuming in fury.

'No!' Dorothy said and crossing her arms in stubbornness.

'You are a feisty one aren't you? Yes Daryl warmed me about you,' Julia replied forcing out an evil laugh.

'Daryl as in Daryl Granderbelt? He's on Mr. Marvalo's side he wouldn't betray him!' Dorothy asked feeling betrayed and hurt.

'Nah Daryl Lea! Of course Daryl Granderbelt!' Julia replied.

'You're lying! He would never do that the Marvalo trusted him! You're just being the oppositional woman you are!' Dorothy screamed at her.

'Why don't you ask him yourself?' Julia said gesturing towards to closed door. Dorothy walked towards the door her Ugg boots slapping against the white marble floor only to see Mr. Daryl Granderbelt.

'How could you the Marvalo trusted you and you go and back stab everyone, you-you-you what's the bother I'm never gonna get out of here I'm never going to get home I might as well give up now,' Dorothy said sinking onto the floor feeling the diamonds from her boot dig into her bare legs but she felt defeated.

'He never trusted me, insolent girl!" He roared back at her and walked out of the room leaving a very broken Dorothy lying on the floor. After crying for about an hour she got up the courage to walk over to Julia and Daryl.

'You will never get these boots. You will get them over my dead body!' Dorothy stared at them and quickly scanned the room with her eyes until her found the nearest exit; she made a very quick dash towards the door. She was running down endless hallways and around corners until she was out of the building. Then she saw a huge moat surrounding the building.

'If I jump in she can't ever get the boots they will be ruined, sounds like a good plan,' Dorothy said to herself, 'OK nobody's around gotta do it now or I might get caught.' When she reached a small ledge, she was about to jump when she heard Zeke, Hickory and Otot call her name and saw their faint outlines in the poor light. She jumped back, but lost balance and fell headfirst into the water. She then heard a sickening crack and saw the clear water turn red in colour like someone had put food colouring in the water. Then pain shot through her head and she blacked out.

Many hours later when Dorothy woke up she saw Zeke, Hickory and Otot gathered in a circle around her on the floor.

'Ugh what happened? I feel like a semi-trailer filled with concrete ran over me and then dumped all the concrete on top of me,' Dorothy said attempting to sit up and holding her head in her hands.

'That's one of the side affects of cracking your head open on razor-sharp rocks to escape the evil Ranga,' an unfamiliar voice said from behind her.

'I thought you didn't have time to see me. You were to busy or something,' Dorothy spat out at Mr. Marvalo.

'Well you see I was detained, gagged and tied to a chair by Daryl then he left to go to see _Julia Gillard_,' he retorted back spitting out her name as if they were poison, 'And Julia Gillard is dead. She followed you and jumped into the water. She found her hair wasn't permanent and it faded to ghastly brown colour. Who knew her strength was her red hair.'

'Well that's good news then, now I don't have to worry about her trying to steal my boots and my hurt friends,' Dorothy replied while hugging her friends.

'Now Zeke I see you are in dire need of a brain? Are you not?' Mr. Marvalo asked him already knowing the answers.

'Yes sir,' Zeke replied nodding his head.

'Well you see every living thing on this planet needs a brain to survive so you have a brain. I'm giving you a complete education to primary, secondary school and a course at Griffith University so you will have a fully developed education and brain.' Mr. Marvalo said to Zeke giving him the scholarship envelope.

'Thank you so much Mr. Marvalo,' Zeke said to Mr. Marvalo while shaking his hand.

'Now you Mr. Hickory I see you are in need of a change of heart,' he said to Hickory leaning into a squirming bag pulling out a tiny Yorkshire terrier puppy, 'this puppy should cause a change of heart.'

'Thank you Mr. Marvalo I think I'll call him Cooper.' Hickory replied.

'You're welcome. Now Mr. Otot I have something that should change your perspective on the Lions. I have pulled a few strings and you're now assistant coach for the Brisbane Lions, now you don't have to worry about the Lions winning or losing another game.'

'Thank you thank you thank you thank you so much I won't let you down sir,' Otot said pulling Mr. Marvalo into a tight embrace.

'I guess you don't have anything in that bag for me now do you Mr. Marvalo?' Dorothy asked with unshed tears in her eyes threatening to spill.

"Of course I do, I will take you on my bike and take you home again," he replied offering his hand to Dorothy, leading her towards his bike. They both hopped on and rode straight into a brick wall.

The next thing Dorothy remembered, she was lying in her bed listening to her Father shouting at the television, it seemed Tony Abbott and Julia Gillard were debating, yet again.

The End


End file.
